Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Why is there ANOTHER stolen fire extinguisher in my room? You know that's a felony right...
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
They only searched every other person. But I sacrificed myself to get our vodka across the border
dude I don't even care if I'm getting catfished the point is I'm going to get laid. hot bitch, fat bitch, skanky bitch, i don't care my penis is having an adventure tonight regardless
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Randomize