So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
What color suit is the proper "i banged the bride" attire?
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
Last night you told me to stop being Martha Stewart and asked if I had Taco Bell in my house
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
He just sent me a picture of multiple chickens eating in his kitchen... should I be worried
Randomize
