She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
our cab driver is having phone sex.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
Idk. The last coherent text said something about $25 & dimes. And then...it's just letters...
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Had to sacrifice my vibrator batteries to the thermostat gods. I had a dirty dream and also almost a heat stroke.
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I got pulled over by the same cop in a 4.5 hour window. Got off both times. Fuck yes.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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