Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
After 10 years all I have gotten is one bra pic, at this point I should be able to draw your cervix from memory
Ok. Also I almost just threw up. Seriously. I was think to myself "really? Here? Now? At my work desk?" and then it went away.
I told her you were a premature ejaculator. She nodded and said "Really? Wow, how long's he been a Pilot for?"
you are both the best and worst wingman ever.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Will you come get her? She's trying to get the pizza guy into the bathtub.
Leave it to us to have a family reunion in a bar bathroom
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
thought i saw a dude in a kilt yesterday, but then i realized he was doing a walk of shame. happy st. paddy's day.
Randomize
