I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Just made a memo in my blackberry that contains seth's funeral arrangements. I have a feeling he has big plans for the weekend.
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
I'm a bit broke right now... Would it be OK if I pay you in champagne and Xanax?
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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