Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
My Wonder Woman lingerie has been defiled by man. I'm a horrible Amazon.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
I will take a ruler to your dick so help me god
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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