things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
oh man you're gonna hate me when you log onto facebook. remember i love you
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
note to self, drunkenly bedazzeling the silverware was a stupid fucking idea
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
He followed me on twitter after I posted a drunk screen shot of a tweet. It's like he gave me permission to stalk him on a whole different level.
I'm making poor life decisions again. Tune in tomorrow to see how much I hate life.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
HELP! I GOT DRUNK IN THE LIVING ROOM AND CANT GET UP UPSTAIRS
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
What's the point of having a gay best friend if he doesn't play with your titties?
Randomize
