i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
I can't believe im sexting my roommate. This is really what my life has come to
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
She twisted her ankle and paid a homeless guy for a piggy back ride home from the bar.
Putting a breathalyzer in a bar is a horrible idea. But I won
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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