I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
You'll be proud of me
Who did you not have sex with
Damn it...you know me too well
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
was i strangled at any point last night? or was his dick just that long
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
Randomize
