You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
The world would have a new energy source if someone would just take a blacklight to the backseat of that slut's car
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
All of my exes are either overweight and neckbearded or dead. Someone out there is looking out for me.
Well you were already wet from trying to drink straight from the faucet, so I just put you in the bathtub with a pillow and called it a night
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
I just want you to make me second guess my worth as a human. Is that too much to ask?
Randomize
