"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
Using pokemon references during sexual acts is always a good idea.
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Randomize
