I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
After he came, he took a two minute power nap and then fucked me for another 45 minutes. He is a machine!
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