but why does your life always sound like the plot of a porn?
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
Found my puke from September encrusted to the floor under the dresser while cleaning before move out ..... Oh Freshman year
Got a stripper to howl at my wolf shirt.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
my dad pointed to my full beer and said drink up we're leaving now.
can you adopt me?
I used the hope and guess method to figure out who I slept with last night.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
We helped him hit the bowl to the point that he didn't even have to move
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I just set my acrylic nail on fire while trying to light my blunt
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
Randomize
