Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
You need to always be prepared. Like a sex firefighter.
If I get there and all he has for my big valentines surprise is his body, I'm dumping his ass and posting his dirty pictures on a porn site so people can laugh at him.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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