girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
there's a guy looking for his pants in my room, is he yours?
SOS. HE HAS PASSED OUT AND IS LYING ON TOP OF ME. HE IS STILL INSIDE. HELP
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
I have no idea what that means but I'm googling things just so I can watch my thumbs move
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
Yeah but you let me touch your butt. You're clearly the winner.
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Randomize
