it's gonna be a chat room kind of night
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
Were you paying girls to come up and grab my cock and tell me I look like bradley Cooper?
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
Does it still count as a valentine if it's drunk phone sex at 3 in the morning
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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