Those 2 guys from the sonic commercial will be virgins for life.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
