:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
All of the texts in my phone just say "BEER". I woke up with glowsticks on my arm. What happened last night?
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
We were driving past a farm when he screamed at me to stop the car, then he jumped out and tried to ride a cow.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
He gave me a back massage while we were fucking.
Did you get that?
WHILE WE WERE FUCKING.
Randomize
