That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
I fucking hate humanity. I met a twenty three year old adult with an aol email account today. I'm not sure how those things are related, but I'm sure they are.
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
IT'S PERFEFT
... what?
HIS DICK. IT'S PERFECT. BYE.
Randomize
