so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
Yeah I made some freshmen feed me oddles of noodles and I passed out
Basically, what i'm trying to say is, if you don't have something, excuse or gift, to satisfy my anger i am going to look you in the eye and piss on the floor.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Also I've decided that I'm buying the next friend of mine who is dumb enough to get married a live porcupine as a wedding present.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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