If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
i was so high it looked like the chipmunks movements were coordinated to that lady gaga song
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
He kept making me pretend I was his personal trainer. When I swallowed his cum he made me pretend I was drinking a protein shake. Thats actually what it tasted like.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
i out mim tonsoeep
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