Wow.. I was doing a mental check of my bank balance & I literally just said to myself: 'I have 27 dollars and a bottle of tequila til tuesday-ill be fine'
Thats how high i was. The fact that he looked like Seth Rogan was apparently a good thing.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Green mimosas i think yes
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I swear every time I see him he's either dancing or trying to touch people
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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