I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I mean it's my life so what if i want to drink Molson from my sparkly shoes and not regret anything
Ryab! Make hr wtop. Mshe make sme speee. I don want to pee. I want sev. He was so igbad. Redpo.
Too bad they don't have an emoji symbol for condoms and 99 cent tacos
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You're about wine.
Yes, I'm like 90% wine at the moment
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
Randomize