she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
Just bought a waterproof mattress cover. Bring it on sophomore year.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
