I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
kindergarten is hard when you're hung over.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
Call me something sexy & ethnic. Like jasmine. But mystical too. Like Mermaid Jasmine. And throw Glitter somewhere in there too.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
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