Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
whatever it's my dick and i'll put it wherever i want
What's the point of having 3 fuck buddies when their periods all seem to sync up
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
My ex-fiancee UPS-ed me a sixer of tall boys, and a fifth of bourbon for christmas, from halfway across the country. What does this mean?
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
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