i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
I will fuck a handful of worms if you hold them
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
Sexy intern needs to have caveman sex with me
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
If I wanna spend the whole night tied up and getting railed I'm allowed to do so
Randomize
