I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
No fucking judgements. You know me. Chinese food vent sessions are safe places.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
This girl was in the river screaming that someone didn't love her anymore...that's when the guy in a kilt claimed her...
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Randomize
