we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
You came in as I got off work, ordered us jack and cokes. Put them on my tab, and then proceeded to fall asleep on the bar.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
ALso, saw an adorable man walking an adorable dog with his adorable kid.
And yes, that last sentence is biased because my ovaries started screaming
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
Pants are for mortals
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Randomize
