is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Don't take this the wrong way but I just mistook a trash can for you
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
We decided to leave the bar after we shattered a glassand then drive to steal a baby pool for our water festivities tomorrow
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
Randomize
