Are you seriously drinking already? It's 11AM. Still morning.
I'm going by McDonald's time. And since they stop serving breakfast at 10:30 and start serving lunch, it is now afternoon.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
Brutally Honest is my real middle name, Princess just sounds better.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
i'm not accepting baked goods from anyone for awhile. especially after the stalker pie.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
So apparently I was a completely different person lastnight, one who drinks scotch and makes out with 55 year old men who look like inspector gadget
I never thought I'd have to apologize for tasting like absinthe and cheetos before tonight
You left me with 12 red bulls and a bottle of vodka. What did you expect?
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
Randomize
