3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
We drove past his house blaring "Like a virgin" in the middle of the day. pretty sure he heard.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
I got home and laid by the toilet and then alexa laid in the bathtub and sang the preamble while kayla held my hair
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was just hotboxing under my sheets and I got lost on the way out.
It was so scary.
This girl invited us back on the promise of weed and strudel...she delivered neither.
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
Randomize
