PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im covered in puffy paint and glitter i cant find kevin and im wearing shoes that dont belong to me....come get me please
I may also break bread with strippers. Because it is passover.
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
I offered the opportunity to grope my boobs for pints. Two girls took me up.
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
