ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just realized I haven't got laid since the last time the Browns won.
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Randomize
