ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
I was going to clean my house but wine sounded better
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
I've been very busy/drunk lately... Sorry.
Being high is an amazing excuse. I was using him for the potential of a beret, come on. I'd do that sober.
Trust me at the end of the night there will be queso smothered places you didn't think it could be smothered
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
Buying a new pipe this morning, and setting up career plans this afternoon. It's called balance
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
Randomize
