The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
I'm eating lunch next to a table of beautiful culturally-diverse women chattering away happily. It's like sitting next to a Yaz commercial.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
she said she's never had and orgasm AND she's a cubs fan...ouch.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Crying in Target on a display sofa is normal, right? Asking for a friend.
It's probably not a good thing when it isn't even 6:30 and I've already drank an entire bottle of wine. By myself. I'm watching Spice World and I just bought 2 Spice Girls albums off itunes.
Make that 3 Spice Girls albums.
Randomize
