i love how you can even make your typing come across bitchy
Then you got really excited when I upgraded you from puke bowl to puke bucket.
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You were throwing up and said, "Whipe my face, I must look presentable at all times."
We got out of the car in valet drinking beers we gave the valet one as a tip
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You're talking to someone who was 80% serious about breaking into someone's house and leaving a cat there with our names in a heart tag on its collar
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
