we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
Thanks for the birthday present, i had so much fun playing with it
Are you talking about my vagina?
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
I'm sorry i ruined our friendship with a boner
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
Randomize
