HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
I have no memory of puking on someone. Was he cute?
Knee deep in strippers, everything is comped. will try hard to be there at 8. i promise.
on the way to work, i saw an empty wine bottle sitting in the middle of an intersection. i thought of you.
i can respect that.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Just did it in a room with glowing stars to Peter Gabriel's down to earth on shrooms. This is like god
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Randomize
