i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
When I sent you a text telling you to splash water on your face, you texted me back with 'Iwehre N qyull.'
Ok, it is technically a gay bar but it's a total dive w/ strong drinks. The important thing is you can start drinking at 11:00 am without judgement
oh oh oh, and apparently you can bring in your own snacks. Some old dude just gave me cashews and cheetos.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Wearing my one sleeve dress...thought you'd like to know I shaved ONE armpit lol
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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