She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
Well if I am having twins, at least I'll finally have 2 kids by the same father.
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
When I left you were in the shower in your socks throwing up screaming it was blood but it was "ok" cuz it's recyclable. By the way it was kool aid.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
sometimes, you gotta take him by the hands like tails took sonic, and fly him into the bedroom.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
My mom is coming to visit today & it's giving me anxiety. I feel like she can see through me & into the whore I've become.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
We're hate flirting, damnit.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
