So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
So apparently the bar gave out free condoms, which I now have a pocket full of. Why is drunk me shoving the fact that I'm single and not getting laid in sober me's face...
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Why do I love Florida? Because I just quit my job because it's too pretty a day to go to work and I'm going to the beach to eat seafood and drink beer.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Mom just walked in with a bag of weed and funyuns. I'll talk to you later.
I just tried to pass the bowl to my dog for 2 minutes before I remembered she isn't human. It is 7:27 am.
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
