dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Please don't ever try giving my cat a hair cut ever ever again
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
how soon in a friendship can you start calling them a motherfucker
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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