i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
It's like god touched my soul and said 'you will be great in bed'
Because i love you. And people show love by not letting their friends shit themselves.
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
i was so high when i left this morning that rather than make sandwiches i threw bread and peanut butter in my backpack. a whole loaf. and a whole jar
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
