on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
I'm drunk and you're awesome. let's stay this way forever.
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
He got cut off by the bartender. So he kept buying people drinks of they would i get him a drink. Before you know it him and 8 people were outside the bat trying to get people. To by them drinks
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
I'm running late...how do you explain period shits to your boss?
6 showers laters and I still feel like I have his vomit in my vagina. At least I could help him figure out he's gay.
So my family just woke up on Easter morning and shared a bowl. That's bonding😊
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