Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
She slapped his drink out of his hand to get him to leave the bar while he and I were having an intense debate about the lyrics to mmmbop
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Thanks for putting up with my drunk friend last night. Its all fun and games till someone pukes macaroni under your fridge.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Randomize
