you dont need to remember merediths name haha. only jane
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
You know, it's scary to think that someday I might buy a pregnancy test with pride, not at 2am...
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
We left live chickens on the basement slip n slide. Good luck finding your car keys
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Even his sexts are poetic. He said breasts instead of tits so I'm gonna lock this shit down asap
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
