They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
Tell me you remember me getting a tampon from the girl throwing up in the next stall
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
IN OTHER NEWS did you guys see Orlando Bloom's penis today? I did
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
Randomize
