I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
He wanted me to blow him while he did curls and looked at himself in the mirror. Not sure if gay or ego maniac.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
DUDE I FINGERED JOE'S MOM, PLS DONT TELL HIM, MORE LATER
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
My roommate is fucking his gf in the shower and i really have to pee do i just bust in or pee on his bed
Probably going to live on vodka sodas and fireball shots
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