Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
You were directing traffic around her for 30min after she passed out in the middle of the road.
You really are best friends.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
