You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
Girl in my class with fire painted on her face. I. need. that. weed.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
I know you all think its cute to drop me off in a different state when I black out, but I can't wake up in family campgrounds asking where I am. These parents are scared.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Same way I cope with everything else. With dildos, dunkin and depeche mode
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