Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Brought a cooler and a case to a parade. I'm getting dirty looks since it's 10:30. Telling people it's for the troops.
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Nope. Too much basics going on right now. I'm tying you both up and throwing you to the vibrating sexy toy sharks. You shall either sink or get off gloriously.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
