I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
the EMT asked how you broke your nose and you said, "you know, the usual wear and tear."
Contrary to what I yelled at them last night, it turns out campus police CAN arrest people...
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
And on that day, Satan said; "Let there be the friend zone and let us get fucking high." while Jesus silently cried in the background.
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
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