Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I think if it were a part of everyone's daily routine, the world would be happier. International Finger Yourself While Bathing Day.
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Randomize
