She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
I really enjoy how cavalier you're being about your chlamydia
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Someone came in the potted fern
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
She's better-looking with the mask on.
Randomize
