thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you were so drunk you slurred your pauses
I've decided to turn your sobriety into a reason for me to be able to drink more.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
you know its getting late when the "nevers" are turning into "maybe"
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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