Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
My family will be here in an hour and I'm deciding between doing my makeup or saying fuck it and wearing what's left of last night's...
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
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