Just farted in public and tried to sniff it all up before anyone noticed...do you think that actually works?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
Lesson learned. Don't roleplay with a real knife.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
This morning when you were fucking me you said you'd go to the store and get me tampons and a 30 pack
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
Randomize
