Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
And if it was a miscarriage you should figure out whose it was. He must be an alphamale for his offspring to sustain life this long in the amusement park that is your body
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
