? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
Definitely thought about throwing up in the cat box since it's not as far to the bathroom..
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
HOW DID I LET MYSELF GET SUCKED IN HE HAS A PENIS FOR PETE'S SAKE.
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
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