He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
she made me cover her fishbowl with my shirt because she "didn't want to corrupt it."
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
I apologize in advance for attempting to drunkenly hookup with your sister
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
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